


I am always here

by quizkwatsh



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Anxiety, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, any peter parker is a csa survivor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 02:11:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11934147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quizkwatsh/pseuds/quizkwatsh
Summary: Peter has a dream about Skip, May is there to comfort him.





	I am always here

**Author's Note:**

> There is nothing graphic in this story, but it is all about Peter being a csa survivor, so that is vaguely referenced.

He is spider-man, he shouldn't be afraid of some stupid nightmare, yet here he is frozen with fear. He just wants May to come and protect which is ridiculous because he has super strength. He can protect himself.

He can't go back to sleep. His heart is racing and his breathing is becoming erratic. He starts counting in his breathing just like May and Ben taught him to do years ago. 

He is so tired. This isn’t even the first time this week that he has woken up from a nightmare, and between school and homework and patrolling, he really cannot afford to be losing time to this. 

It is all so unfair. Skip gets to live his life and Peter is stuck with nightmares and fear. It stopped four years ago and Peter still can't get over it.

In his frustration he throws his blanket against the door. He wants to go out. He wants to not be here and get rid of this adrenaline he is feeling, but if he goes out he might lose control and hurt someone.

Before he is aware of what he is doing he has gotten up and thrown his blankets against the door in anger, and has moved onto his desk where he is now throwing everything on the ground, while closing his eyes tight in an attempt to stop the tears.

Suddenly there is a hand on his shoulder and his entire body flinches before he is backing up against the wall.

Then he freezes.

He doesn't run away, he doesn't try to fight the person. 

He just freezes. 

Again.

It is as if it doesn’t even matter that he is spider-man now. 

He fights bad guys every single night, but now he is just that scared eleven year old again. 

That scared child who didn’t understand why his friend would betray him like that. That child who was too scared to run away, because he didn’t want to make his only friend mad.

After a while he realises the hand isn't touching anymore, or leaning over him. He can sense someone sitting close on the floor next to him though. 

He vaguely recognises that the person is talking to him, but he can’t make sense of any of the words.

When he realises it is May and that she sounds concerned, he immediately flings himself at her.

He is clinging to her while his entire body shakes with sobs.

She is rubbing his back comfortingly and asking what is wrong.

Peter is crying too hard to say anything.

Suddenly May is pulling away and he starts to panic. She can't leave he needs her. He grabs onto her shirt and tries to plead with her to stay. He doesn't think she can understand the words he is trying to say, but she seems to understand what he means, because next thing he knows she kisses his forehead and is telling him that she won’t leave. She is saying that she is just going to move them a little so she can hold him better.

She keeps a gentle hand on his arm while moving before pulling him close so he is kind of sitting on her lap. He is aware that he is too old for this, but he feels so young and devastated in this moment, and he just needs his aunt to hold him and make him feel safe, no matter how ridiculous that is.

He hugs her and cries and cries, all the while May is hugging him back and rubbing comforting circles on his back and whispering reassurances.

Eventually the tears slow down and Peter starts to feel calmer.

May moves a little so she can look him in the eyes. She puts a hand on his cheek before telling him that they are going to the kitchen and getting something to drink. She doesn’t ask him, she just tells him, normally it would annoy him, but now it is comforting to not have to make any choices.

She holds him by his shoulders during the entire trip to the kitchen as if she is afraid he'll run out. It makes Peter feel safe.

He sits with his legs pulled up on the chair and avoids looking at May while she grabs them both a glass of water and turns on the water heater to make tea.

When she also sits down at the table she turns to him and asks “Peter, what's going on”.

“Nothing…” he replies instantly.

“Peter…” she says in an exasperated tone, “it is clearly something.”

“It's just…” he pauses “it was just a stupid dream. It is not important.”

“Peter, I've known you for a long time, you do not get this upset over nothing.”

Peter takes a deep breath and braces himself to tell her, before he is suddenly deflating and looking away while biting his lip to try and stop himself from starting to cry again.

“Please tell me” 

“It was about skip okay?!” Peter snaps, before tears fill his eyes and he continues in a shaky voice “I dreamed about him and it all came back.”

“Oh Peter”

“It is so unfair” he takes a shaky breath.

“I know kiddo” May reaches out and holds his hand.

“It was so real, I thought he came back and it was happening again.” He pulls his hand away and wraps his arms around himself, “I could feel him May.” 

“It's over now”

“No it isn't. I have been thinking about it for days, this was just the worst dream I have had in a while. I am still thinking about it so much. It never stops hurting.” 

“Peter, maybe you should talk about it, you never really did that.” May says carefully.

Peter is shaking his head, but May continues “I'm listening if you want to talk about it, and if you don't want to talk to me, I can find you a therapist to talk to”

“No” he says sharply. 

May gets up and walks over to Peter, and runs her hand through his hair. Peter immediately leans into her touch.

“Sweetie, this won’t just go away if you ignore it”

“Can we please talk about this some other time.”

“of course” May kisses the top of his head, “just remember that I am always here if you want to talk.”

**Author's Note:**

> i have had this finished for over a month now, but i couldn't find the courage to post it until now, bc this is such a big fandom which is really intimidating. anyway i hope you liked it, and any feedback is appreciated!


End file.
